deeper thoughts

I think I struggle with complexity. If one event goes good in my life, it’s as if I’m on Mt. Everest. I feel so good, to the point where I neglect other tasks that no longer seem as important. If things go wrong, I laugh it off, suddenly free from anxiety. But if something goes bad I completely drown. The world is ending in my mind. I used to only think the latter was dangerous. But I realized that the first scenario is actually more harmful for my mental state. In that temporary state of happiness, I forget what I really wanted. I’m distracted by that second of validation I receive from an insignificant outside source and forget who am I and what I need. I’m willing to compromise my desires, my aspirations, my goals just because of a momentary instance. And it is this situation that I despise.